Thanks Ruby. I don't know what is up with me these past several days. I am weepy and dark in my head. I keep telling myself I need to get my head around my future and really start accepting this sitch. I thought I was... I think I am. Yet something has thrown me.

I think its H being nice to me.

I dont trust it.

So instead of looking at the positives over the past couple of weeks I have been focusing on the fear of the unknown...borrowing trouble from the future. And not living in the moment for the now.

I spent a good two years in denial. I don't want to live like that anymore.

And the upcoming holiday is freaking me out. I do not want to have any expectations. I know better now. Ok. Time to refocus.

TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home