LS, I like your plan, and it is similar to what I'm trying over here.
Originally Posted By: lostsoul13
So yesterday I wanted to test out the waters on physical touching. I guess I reached my small goals....
Massage for her is possible now She allows me to hug her, of course she doesn't hug back...but I do notice she smiles.
She asked me why I hug her, I tell her because every hug going forward may be the last one and I wanted to enjoy the moment.
Instead of "because it may be the last one" I'd suggest something more positive like "because I care for you and want to help you get through this difficult time".
Quote:
She mentioned I am no longer a "knucklehead" so she feels better but her stance on "love" hasn't changed. Still feels conflicted with OM. But I think it's now more about MLC. She just isn't sure if she is missing out on life.
Keep in mind you're working from the inside, OM is on the outside. You actually have the advantage in that respect. There is a part of her, of all WAS's, that is unsure if leaving is the best choice. It's just not that easy to end a marriage, especially when the LBS is doing a fine job of DB.
It sounds like you're accepting that shifting her feelings will take time, and this is good. Patience is your friend.
As for the "missing out on life" thing, my wife is in the same place. Only they can scratch this itch. But we can encourage them to find constructive ways to fulfill this need to live life.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
