He's Just Not That Into You - The Sequel

[mamabird]

Thanks for the support Wendy and Ruby. I can really feel your caring and it means a lot to have somewhere to go to get all of this out. I am so thankful for this board!

Wendy - I think you're probably right about the therapy. I've been so resistant to it but I realize that I have my own agenda that I'm desperate to get across. Understandably so. After 6 months, my H still hasn't heard me. I'm trying to just let the MC sink in and to listen to what H has to say. I've been reading some other sitches in which the W had an A and it's been helping me to hear the H's (LBH in both cases) perspective.

Journaling a little:
Today marked the 6 month anniversary of our bomb. We have come a very long way since then. He was threatening D with no turning back. Over the summer my dad said to him, "Well, don't worry, this will all blow over and we'll all be spending the holidays together." H said no way, but hey, we just back from my dad's where we did the first night of Hanukkah .

H and I did exchange gifts. I don't think he'd bought me anything at first, but I let him know I'd gotten him something (a book about the history of LA). He said, "Well in the spirit of modeling good behavior for the boys..." He got me a self-help audiobook called "Stillness Speaks." Anyone read it? It was a thoughtful gift and I told him that. I have a long commute so I will enjoy listening to it in the car.

We had a fine day and a fine night at my dad's. Just to share a few funny stories - H wanted to go to Barnes & Noble today, but he doesn't like the mall that's 10 minutes from our house, so he drove like 40-45 min to go to a different one. Makes no sense but whatever...

The other thing? That parking ticket that I found shoved in his dresser drawer has gone to collections now. The notice came in the mail. I'm just going to give it to him, no commentary.

I haven't really prepared any questions for the coach. I thought the first session would be to review my sitch and to focus on detaching while still living at home. Hoping also to get some insight into what he might be thinking.