So I failed my test of detachment. I backslid. I let my insecurity and tiredness of this whole sich get the worse of me. Last night I texted her and didn't get a response. So I then texted her and asked if she was with OM. she called, she said no, we Hung up on each other. I went to sleep. Evidently she texted and called me but I didn't hear. At first it was stop freaking out, don't do anything stupid, and ended with a I knew you couldn't get past this. So this am I told her my volume was down and that didn't hear the texts / calls. That I need her help to get past this if we are to have a chance.
Ugh. I'm so mad at myself and don't care. Confusion going wild on what I want. And not looking forward to having deal with this when she finally comes back.
