Stuck between a hard place and the biggest rock.

[MrBond]

I know it takes time and all, but all the techniques work if the spouse IS around,"

NO THEY DON'T.

"(It is amazing that I have to spend/waste money to enforce such a basic right as this...)."

Not really. You've shown that you've been a neglectful father and your W really thought you didn't want him. I mean, have you even learned how to change his diaper or learned his likes dislikes about food, etc. since you didn't answer the last time I asked?

"Anyway, this shows I want to be the best dad I can."

NOPE. It doesn't show anything.

"- Second, find out what she meant by work things out, and if it is what I hope it is, whether she'd like to go for coffee."

Don't do it. You haven't given it enough time and you're not going to like the answer you get.

"Going dark is maybe not the right thing now,"

You haven't even gone dark or even dim. You haven't shown her that you've changed and you haven't SHOWN her that you can be responsible towards your son.

'but I have the impression she is tart eating, in the sense she has both the power and the control,

No. She very eloquently stated what she thought and she was very thorough. She very carefully thought about you when she made her decision and you disagree with it. She's not wrong.

"and I am too nice. It is 6 months I am humble pie eating, and we've been separated since Christmas last year, I only came here in July, and she had our son all along when I asked her several times if I could have him more!"

Because you haven't SHOWN that she can trust you with him. When are you going to learn that important lesson?

"When I come back in January, I hope I'll have 50% custody of my son, my W will have to learn to live with it!"

Just as arrogant as ever.