The house is for sale. So sad, Family is breaking.

[mamabird]

Hey Floyd,
I have another thought here about what may be going on in your W's head.

You said that she was originally keen on fixing things - cried, begged for forgiveness, the works. You went to MC, she was resistant. Then one day, she did a total 180, said she wanted out and filed for D.

In our sitch, I cried, begged for forgiveness, told him I loved him and wanted it to work. Nothing changed. We went to MC. It has been frustrating for me. Our MC isn't really challenging me but isn't challenging H either. I feel like I've tried everything to get him just to LISTEN and ACCEPT that I'm trying and that I'm sorry. He stands there, arms folded and indignant.

My point is that I'm quickly approaching the point where I want to throw in the towel. I'm trying and trying and trying and nothing's working. H won't budge.

Is this what's going on in your sitch? Are you so married to your hurt and disappointment (no pun intended) that you're pushing her away with it? She knows you are hurt and disappointed, but maybe she doesn't know what she's supposed to do with that. She probably feels like she's apologized and can't understand why you're still so mired in all of it.

You mention how hurt you are in almost every post. Not to minimize that at all... I'm sure it's very genuine and valid for you. What are you doing to move past that though, and how long have you been in this space? Does she see a man who's brooding, wallowing and feeling sorry for himself? Or does she see a man who's picked himself up by the bootstraps and is doing something to move past this? Does she feel like you have accepted her attempts to reconcile or to work things out? Or does she feel punished by you?

If she feels punished by you, I'm not surprised that she's on her way out. Read my sitch and see how many people have told me not to be the victim and not to take my H's crap anymore. Plus, feeling punished pretty much suks. If this is what you are doing, you need to stop.