I somehow logged out and could not retrieve any of my info. So, I am back with updates. My last post is as follows:
How do you stop thinking about your WAH/MLCER? With recent info, I am struggling to keep my mind clear. I woke up several times last night with a horrible stomachache from dreams about him. The thoughts and dreams are never good. I'm either thinking about him with OW or all the cruel things he has done. The girls and I never got any money from him. I don't know how he lives with himself. I know...they all just think about themselves, all the money they can spend and fun vacation life they are living. Meanwhile, we're here living reality, worrying about money and living everyday in pain.
I got to tell his Aunt(his deceased mother's sister) about her nephew today. She ran into my parents in the small town where we grew up. She asked my mom about us. Mom wasn't going to give up too much info. So, she called me. I felt obligated to call the Aunt and tell her everything. This woman is one of the sweetest person on this earth. She has a "Mrs. Claus" thing going. She was absolutely devastated to hear her nephew had completely changed into an entirely different person. She said his mom was turning over in her grave and she would be so hurt and disappointed in her son.
She was glad I told her because she had been worrying about us. She has been like everyone else in the family, in shock. I'm still in shock. Everyday I ask myself, "who is this man?" Since I think about him and the situation so much, I am trying to separate my husband from this man. I'm not going to let this man take away 28 years of happiness and love I had with my husband.
I would like to make it thru one day where I'm not worrying, thinking or crying over him. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone. Well, I kind of wish it on the man with my husbands name and the skanky tramp he's with. I want to stop being hurt, knowing they're together. That he's taking her on trips and buying her things. I want to stop worrying about how I'm going to pay for a lawyer, so my girls and I will have what we need. I feel like I will never be truly happy again. I will spend my life faking happiness for those around me.
Since I made this last post, things just seem to get worse everyday. My daughters are struggling and so am I. I'm waiting for papers to be served. My lawyer believes he is waiting until my OD turns 21 at the end of the month, so he won't have to pay anything for her. Unbelievable. She's in college and that is the age cut off for child support. She is so hurt and mad about this information. I found out thru credit card charges that he will be taking OW to Prague for Christmas. He says he wants a relationship with Ds, but won't stay in town to even try and see them. He sends nasty emails to me about money. He tries to put blame on me for everything. He hasn't given us any money from his past two paychecks (a month). He doesn't email about anything else. Oh, I think he's already in Sweden staying with her until their vacation to Prague.
I dread getting up every morning. I'm just waiting to see what this stranger, who used to be my husband, is going to hit me with each day. _________________________
