25 has given you some great advice, read it and reread it. Maybe read it again after that. I am 3 months into my sep, and 7 months since BD. I am only starting to understand all of this. I was so worried right away about doing and saying the right things, when what I needed to be worried about was myself and my children. If you can become a better person and father for yourself, she will notice that far sooner than any technique you try. Like I said before, it is entirely possible your marriage is over, it is what you take away from the experience that will help you the most.
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
