Stuck between a hard place and the biggest rock.

[25yearsmlc]

Hello,
New thread, which logically opens this new era.

And for those who have patiently and graciously been following the previous ones, here's what's on my mind at the moment :

Since W said she wanted to works things out,

You never said what SHE really said b/c you were not listening to her carefully b/c you said your heart was racing. So none of us know what she meant or said. You could have asked her to clarify or repeat...


but hasn't showed anything yet (never been to the counsellor, never accepted one invitation for dinner or coffee, never gave an ainch on anything),


"never"...what's it been, a week? And you only asked for more time with your son recently.

Good Lord, have YOU seen a counsellor in that time? Do you see how FAST you go back to being a victim, time and time again...as for never giving an inch

what is it YOU have asked for and not gotten? You barely asked for time with your son and the second she hinted that she might want to work things out,

you dropped the request for your son??? Now it's maybe ONE day with him out of 4?


is it I, who should initiate peace/reconciling activities ? (such as asking her out, or to the movies, etc...)

of course it's you.

SHE is not here! She's not trying to save the marriage. Supposedly, YOU are. So no, we can't tell her what to do or how to fix things b/c she doesn't seem to want to yet...or if she does, it's new.

Also, I wrote an email yesterday asking for my son for a FULL DAY, for 4 or 5 days before Christmas, because I have these days off I need to take. (which I could have used for anything else..)


Wow Bruce, so, like ALL OF US who have children we spend time with,

you "could have used" that time "for anything else"... BUT like what? Something more important than being with your only child, a child who barely knows you AND Whom you claim to want more time with?

You act as if you are doing him a favor...AND

And why aren't you pursuing half custody?

I truly have to question what your priorities are now. It does not feel like you want to be the type of father your dad was UNLESS it's easy

and it's not. Parenting is a DAILY duty, not some ONE time vacation that makes up for all the missed days and nights

It's like making small donations of maybe just a dollar, into an account. You do it every day....and Over time it builds and compounds and you have a vast treasure-

but when you stare at the mundane duties of just one day, you can lose sight of what you are building. It's easy to skip out "just this day" and that turns into a week and a month and now you have not changed a 20 month old's diaper...ever...

In your case you have spent so little time with him - that you literally don't know what you are missing,

And that's compounding the tragedy here.

I can't see why your wife would feel you have changed. What is it that you believe SHE CAN SEE in you now, that is different and better? I'm missing it.

We'll see her reaction.
Till then,
HAVE A GOOD WEEK-END,
B.

is this about HER reaction or you getting more time with your son?

I can't tell