dawnmarie, I read most posters on here but don't post much unless I think its relevant. I have gone through MLC myself and live to tell about it similiar to AmyC who describes it perfectly. At first in the depression of MLC you are not even asking the right questions so getting a right answer is not even in the cards. Your a floundering mess on both ends of the equation. Both reason and the answer to all this pain is totally missed by you. Your husband has gotten to understand that he is in pain, and looking for answers. The understanding that there is a reason for all his pain is a step in the process. This step is not even taken by some MLC's and they remain lossed.
The next step for him is to hopefully get the right answer and then after that make amends with himself and fully understand what he was supposed to learn.
Most MLC's will put power in something tangible thinking this will get them the rest of the way through. More energy in a job, money, rebellion, making up for losses etc, etc, etc and the list can be endless.
One day hopefully the answer will appear to him and will realize that all the things he is putting power in is useless and that he is complete the way he is. That life is what it is. Its called acceptance. Acceptance to forgive yourself. Then the anger goes away. The need for his a$$wholism as he calls it goes away.
He is on the right path. My hope for you is he will find the answer that will bring him back into balance with himself.
This is his journey to make. You are doing great. Do not take any of this personally. Take care of yourself.
My only wonder these days as I read the board is why some human beings go through this crises to such a degree. The only answer I can come up with is that its an internal mechanism built into our pschy(soul) that gives us an opportunity to become whole, balanced and content in life.
Those that get the opportunity come through this as wonderful complete human beings. Those that do not continue on a path of destruction to themselves and those around them.
I wish you the best and hope your husband continues his journey through this whole MLC mess.
