Alright. Now that God has given me the sign I prayed for while on my way to my job. That's right. I gave it up to God. I asked for guidance on what the right thing to do here was. I wanted to be absolutely sure I was doing the right thing. The kind thing - by setting the no spooning boundary.
I feel I got an "and then some" response. So my boundary has extended to "get out". And here is my plan. When H returns on Sunday I plan to tell him that I would like him to leave.
He will no doubt ask why. I predict his actual words to be "Don't be ridiculous".
I will tell him that due to his continuing relations with OW that I no longer am willing to live with him. I plan to tell him that he can go quietly with a cover story (for the kids. who prob won't ENTIRELY believe it) that H feels he needs to go be with his parents at this time. Keeping in mind that H LOVES to be in control I am a little concerned that he won't go. I am hoping he'll take me up on the cover story idea and "get" the veiled threat that if he doesn't go quietly I will not cooperate in any "cover story". That this mouse will roar.
BTW, after finding the phone log I went all out Nancy Drew. And I found enough - emails, and fb accounts that I am COMPLETELY confident. I have to get to this point for some reason, can't convict on just "smoke", need to feel the fire itself.
I have a question though. Now that H is for some reason contacting me - texting and phoning- and I DON'T want to talk to him, do just completely ignore the phone? I don't want to appear childish, and I am the one who asked for more contact, so this is a quandary for me. I'm only referring to the next day or so. Once he's home and I give him his marching papers I will have no problem ignoring the phone.
And Snodderly (or anyone else, but Snodderly does seem to have a crystal ball) what do you predict H's reaction will be?
Thank you all for listening.
We might get cold and hungry, but that might be better than this agony.
Hoping for lots of feedback!!!
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
