Okay so last night while talking to my W I had an oh no moment. I texted my wife that I wanted our d tonight as I am going out of town and would like to see her. My wife did not respond. At d's ball game I went and talked to her at half time. W said that she would never keep my D away from me. I said I believe that you would not. W said well your text seemed like you were angry. I said sorry if the text seemed like that, I did not mean for that to come across as angry. W then said well, I planned on D staying with you for the next couple of nights. After D's game I told D she was staying with me and her response was "I am"? D then said that her stuff was at her Mom's house. D said Mom did not say anything about her staying at my house.

I then had a light bulb moment. My wife lied about her wanting daughter to stay with me, prolly because she was afraid I would be angry. Of course I wasn't as she probably did not think about the last time I had d. I realized that we both have manipulated and controlled each other thru guilt, lies etc. because we did not want to either argue or make the other one mad. While watching my W act this way I realized that I act this way as well. I don't want to be that guy, yet another 180 for me. I have been in a tail spin since realizing I have acted this way. I want to change that about me. It is really hard at times to come to a realization that my actions have hurt my wife in some way. At the time I did not realize this to be happening.

Now some may say I am mind reading here. I guess it really does not matter because I did not say anything to her and I realized another thing I want to change about me.

You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.