A lot of us are remedial here in communication skills and relationship skills, so I get that fixating on a rule helps you become more aware of what you may be inadvertently doing.

I will give it a try.

Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
__
Happiness is a warm puppy.