I really think you need to step back from all of it for a bit. You are very defensive of your relationship and the intensity of it and who texted who first, how many texts etc as you demonstrate to the rest of us how very important this woman was to you. We don't, for one minute, underestimate its importance and I don't think anyone means to devalue your feelings. But obviously this woman filled a deep need in you. And I get that. I think we all felt that after our spouses left. But I think you wanted it so badly and felt it so intensely that you gave her almost superpower in your mind. You made her out to be "perfect". Like God planted her there for you. The answer to your prayers. Which may have been too intense for her to deal with. No one wants to be put on a pedestal. And God probably DID put her there for you (there are no accidents). But HIS reason was different that what you believed it to be. Why she came into your life is something you will learn in time.
I had a similar situation about 2 years after my ex left. When I least expected it - the perfect man walked into my life. The things he said, the way he looked, the way he made me feel - totally led me to believe that it was meant to be. I fell head over heels for this guy. My heart told me that I loved him. It was PERFECT!!! My feelings were so intense that when he suddenly called it off - I was DEVESTATED! I think I hurt more and cried more in the first 2 days than I had when my husband left me. I think it is because I was using him to help me finish healing. And I could not believe that Mr Perfect could do this to me. I did not think I would recover at first and I was not interested in anyone else - who could compare???
But I got back on the horse (dating) soon after and within 2 months I met Mr Right. Not to be confused with Mr Perfect. Now, with Mr Right - I realized he was not perfect. Which is better because I'm not perfect either. But he was SO right for me. And it was only because I had been with Mr Perfect (who obviously was very flawed now that I look back on him) - that I could realize what a gift I had in Mr Right. Mr Right is kind and caring but also cautious and careful. He took time to get to know me before professing his love and I did the same with him. We built a relationship over time and I can honestly say that he is truly a good friend as well as my lover. I can also tell you that nearly 9 years later - we are still together.
Don't spoil the good memories of your girlfriend by becoming bitter and angry. Don't phone. Don't text. Don't dwell on it. Take time this weekend to do something - anything - but don't give her more energy than she deserves.
Trust me on this. This too shall pass. And when you have let go of your anger and sadness - the right person will find you very attractive and you can find Miss Right!
