New to the forum, WAH 10/3/12

[notsurewhat2do]

Two whole days of NC from H. I'm sure DD has talked to him, actually I'm pretty sure she has, he wanted to see her last night, but she chose boyfriend over him ... kinda funny, now he knows how it feels.

This morning he must be working on getting his last few bills transfered over to his own name and out of the joint account. Cell phone and insurance. He's asked me several questions. I've answered but no other chat.

Tonight I'm having "OUR" friends over for dessert party. Every year at Christmas we've gone to dinner with friends for Christmas. I actually think H and I are "founding" friends and probably suggested the tradition. For about 10 years we coordinated it, but I got tired of it and now just whoever does it. But it's tonight and I knew it would be too hard to go without H, so I invited everyone over for dessert after their dinner. It will be my way of still seeing our friends, but in a different setting. I'm moving on .... my guess is that H isn't communicating with any of the friends because they will tell him how stupid he is ... is loss!

Actually I did contact an old high school friend of H that was in our wedding. I told him the situation and then asked him if he would contact H just to talk. I figured because he doesn't live in our small town and doesn't socialize with us, that he might be a good netural person for H to talk to. His high school friend is divorced and has dated several people since the divorce. I want him to encourage H to do the same thing (as he did me - he told me not to rush into anything) But I know H needs someone to talk to that is neutral and I think his friend will have his feelings on the OW, but he will also listen to H. Anyways, still worried about him and I really think he needs to talk to someone ....

I've had a good two days, still certain things tear me up a little, but for the most part, I'm feeling stronger. I KNOW I can't control H's decisions, but I have some control myself. I know not signing his bank papers might seems childish, but it's a little bit of control for me and right now I need that. I took H's money, deposited most and it feels good to pay bills without robbing Peter to pay Paul so to speak. Now, if he just keeps it up (paying on time) it will take a load of stress off me!

I still hate that he is lying to me about EVERYTHING, but again, I know I can't control it. So, moving on ....