Some progress after 2+ months of DBing

[mamabird]

H fell asleep fully-dressed on our bed.

Been there, done that!!! I used to try to help him change but gave up on that a long time ago. Most recently, as I was leaving the bedroom to go into my prison cell I would grab the pillows off the bed and H would ask me to turn the light off on the way out. Now I'm just leaving it on and he can turn off the light himself. Even if he falls asleep with the light on and TV blaring, I'm leaving it on.

It sounds like you are frustrated with life today and not getting the support you need from H. I suspect you feel that if you go to H and say, "I'm feeling frustrated with life today, and I need some extra support," he would take it such as you think he's doing something wrong and it's a complaint vs. a request. I've certainly experienced that, and so I learned not to ask for anything.

Sorry about your smelly dad. What have you said to your step mother about it? Could she hire a nurse to help out if she can't manage to keep him clean (or doesn't want to)?