I've been in a R for the last 34 years and after almost 2 years of S and a lot of work on me, I no longer feel that I NEED to be in a R.

My life will be good either way.

A lot of your posts (and I think I've said this before) are all about what your H is doing and isn't doing. He doesn't control your happiness and it sounds like you're the victim.

What are you doing? Take the focus off every little thing he does and create your life. If he joins in fine, if doesn't you'll be OK.

What are your fears? because I sense that, too.

Why are you angry? Is it fear?

When you accept that he gets a to make his decisions and live his life, things become much clearer.

Yes, it affects you but you have choices.

Yes, it's too bad but you have choices.

Right now it sounds from what you post that he's controlling you and you are complicit in that.

Learn to forgive yourself and move forward.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss