Kat has hit the nail on the head. This is EXACTLY what I was trying to point out. You may want to settle for crumbs (but that is ridiculous - who would?) but you are a role model for your son and if you settle - why should he strive for better? Children live what they learn at home.
I can't believe that you describe your relationship with Gabe as good. It is not good. It seems more like a facade. You are both pretending that it is good but there are many underlying problems and if there is no communication and you are terrified to even ask him what the R is - then it could crumble at any time.
My marriage was a facade too. I think my kids saw us living as less than good marriage a lot of the time and I am assuming they figured that was what normal was. Only now can I see that we were a broken couple and that did not set a good model for the kids. But trying to fix the marriage, moving fwd when it could not be fixed (I'm not saying you need to do that - each situation is unique) is teaching the kids that they deserve the best. They deserve to be happy.
I wish I could say the right thing to help you "get it". You do but you are being too stubborn and stuck. I just hope that's working for you.
