Sunny, Let the slip up go and continue moving forward. There are going to be times when things just pop out. It wasn't nasty, just a comment to hers. Keep moving forward and try not to worry over every thing you say and do.
Maybe someday I will be perfect - but I am getting to the point of I don't give a [censored] anymore - just divorce me already did you ever feel like that -- anyway I hope I can be as smooth as you in time.
If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it. I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!
Hey, We all have ups and downs and we are all going to make mistakes. That's why God put erasers on pencils! If you are getting to that "point", that means you are detaching and once you have, you'll feel better about things because you'll not allow her antics to get to you like they have in the past.
You'll get there...it just takes time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hey, We all have ups and downs and we are all going to make mistakes. That's why God put erasers on pencils! If you are getting to that "point", that means you are detaching and once you have, you'll feel better about things because you'll not allow her antics to get to you like they have in the past. You'll get there...it just takes time.
As always Snodderly thank you !!
If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it. I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!
How do you guys handle not dating other people while you are going through this stuff.
My wife's adamant to everyone that we are divorcing I have a few chicks constantly propositioning me - know she is looking herself makes it unbearable for me not to bite if you know what I mean.
Besides self satisfaction how do you guys/gals deal ???
Sunny
If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it. I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!
Sunny, I wouldn't consider dating until you are divorced. Why? Because she could turn around and use your dating as adultery in her case. Most lawyers will advise you not to do it until the ink is dry on the decree. I know...she's most likely doing it herself, but you aren't dealing with a full deck here. Also, if you start dating, you will be sending her a clear message that it's okay for her to do it and it will alleviate some of her guilt.
My advice, hang w/your friends or if you absolutely need female companionship, do it in a group setting for now. However, me personally, I wouldn't want to get a third person involved in the situation, especially if the relationship should become serious before everything is signed, sealed and delivered. Heal yourself first and then think about dating.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I hear you bro, however, I couldn't agree more with Snodderly's advice. One of the things I miss the most is physical aspect; kissing, touching, skin on skin... It's horrible.
Try to let it go for now, you need to mend yourself first.
M - 55 W- 49 S-19, D-16 Married - 24 Bipolar Dx - May 1996 #1 BD - Jun 2011 #2 BD - Feb 2012 #3 BD - Oct 2012 Reconnecting - Jan 2013
"I'm going off the rails on a crazy train!" - O. Osbourne
I have a few chicks constantly propositioning me - know she is looking herself makes it unbearable for me not to bite if you know what I mean.
So these "chicks" are propositioning a still technically married man, eh? Are these the kind of women you want? They sound kinda shallow, self-absorbed and not of strong/good character, imo. And isn't that what we are dealing with with our mlc wives???? And you want MORE of the SAME?
Snodderly is exactly correct...
Think BIG PICTURE, man...think LONG TERM....think!
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Sunny for sure listen to Snoddery and T, they are sooo right.... think about it.... you are still married and a man of God.... what kind of relationship would come out of that? The loneliness in that aspect (and all others) indeed svcks, but it's not worth it to drag another person into the mess.
Thanks guys and gals !! -- I am meeting some friends that are girls for coffee that's it but it feels nice to have someone like you LOL
I forgot how wonderful I am - I mean I know I made mistakes in my M - but I am a wonderful man, father & hubby my MIL told me that today.
Wifey is away and my FIL and I are redoing the kitchen I went out to pick up some thinset and I hit a buttload of traffic on the way back - I walked in my MIL and FIL said we were so worried about you I had to go outside around the block and I started balling - it was so weird to have someone care about me - I don't know just hit me
So everyone keep you confidence up - we're awesome and desirable how the HELL DID WE FORGET THAT - I say don't forget it again--
Here is a song I found my Jason Mraz - lyrics are great for LBS fighting for the marriages:
Sunny, I'm glad your inlaws told you how they felt. They are worried about you because they know that their daughter isn't acting properly. They do care about you. Why did you doubt that? Is it because of what your wifey has said? You can't believe anything that comes out of her mouth, i.e., if her lips are moving, she's lying during the crisis.
Yes, we are all awesome and we all have a lot to offer...don't forget that!
Keep the faith.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
