Hi Tori, thank you..that means a lot :-) I agree, I have plenty of time to think about living location.

I know I need to avoid mind reading. And I don't yet trust my gut because I feel that is what got me here in the first place. Although back then my gut was absorbed into a very muddled mind. Id like to think my mind is clearer now, and therefore my gut...yet I am still not ready to go on that completely.

Today is the start of our weekend here so both kids have friends over for a sleepover.H stayed until about 930 pm. We had watched three episodes of Homeland and had a few drinks. Was very nice, but weird too. I don't take it as anything in terms of R. I know now these little things don't mean anything in and of themselves except that we are better together and that makes for better parenting right now.

He didn't have to stay as the kids were engaged with their friends. He left before the kids were in bed, but then again the kids were still playing with their friends. So if he is more comfortable that is good because again, that will reflect in his R with the kids.

Earlier when I got home I found H brought our tickets for winter break (we are going to Germany). The itinerary had all of our names on it, but H's name was crossed out and instead of four tickes there were three. I didn't ask or comment. So I guess he had the intention of joining us and then changed his mind? Maybe him and OW want to be together? I thought it was interesting. It doesn't change anything me or the kids do, but I thought it curious.

Throughout the evening H was busy texting away on his phone. Back and forth and back and forth. Who knows. I was enjoying Homeland and my drink.

Overall it was a pleasant night and it would have been with or without H around. I am really starting to understand the need vs want thing now. :-)

Work is good. Met several end of semester deadlines which always feels good. Tomorrow night going to a party-gonna get a little dressed up, which come on, is always fun!

Hope everyone is doing well!

TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home