After the Thanksgiving thing (where I told W I thought we shouldn't spend it together) and W's subsequent reveal that she's still confused and not sure what she wants, we agreed to do S9's birthday and Christmas together. She sent me an email earlier suggesting we all go to an ice sculpture exhibit on S9's bday. I told her it looked like a lot of fun and that it was a great idea (this is another 180 I've been doing since BD, I always found a reason to complain about her ideas before- too far away, too expensive, etc.) We're also working out the details on his party the following weekend which will be at my house. He wants it to be a Nerf gun party, so I'm going to go buy a bunch of Nerf guns. A house full of 9 and 10 year olds with Nerf guns, I'll be finding darts behind furniture and on top of stuff for weeks I'm sure
I also spoke with D16 and let her know that W was taking her comments seriously. D16 has been talking to W about the sitch and expressing her concerns. I wanted D16 to know that W isn't blowing her off, she is taking her comments to heart and thinking about them. I mentioned to D16 that W thinks S9 and D18 doesn't care about the sitch. I have tried to talk to D18 but she doesn't want to, but I knew she was taking it hard. D16 confirmed that she's taking it really hard, worse than D16 in fact. D18 is in finals week and then will be staying with me during Christmas break, I'm going to try and talk with her again. I know it's tough on her but I don't want her keeping all that bottled up inside.
Originally Posted By: labug
Yes, everyone seems to have their own definition. For me, and I think it probably comes from AlAnon, it means simply not engaging in the tug-of-war. You aren't necessarily off the playing field, you're just not taking part in the conflict, engagement, interaction.
Yeah, I've heard that version described around here as well. I'm sure if Michele knew we'd be using some of these terms so much she would have tried to define them a little more clearly, but I think the whole DB'ing thing has become much bigger than she ever expected
