Other thing I forgot to mention was I went to AS's favorite store again last night (Buckle) and bought a few new shirts and sweaters that are way more hip then what I usually wear. I may spring one of them on her for our Christmas shopping on Saturday.
LOL! I guess I'm going to have to go back and check out those sweaters too!
Originally Posted By: Spartan
Quick thought, I posted in someone else's sitch telling them to think about if they're S can ever change enough to give them the M they want. Woke up in middle of night thinking about that in my own sitch. I'm honestly not sure if my wife can fill the needs that I have. Last several years I admit my love tank has been pretty low but she was such a good mom that I let my own needs go. With all this self reflection and reading I've been doing I now clearly know what I want in a marriage and I see many of those things being very difficult for my wife. I have to give her benefit of doubt because I know I've changed a lot but just a thought/ worry I have. I just know if I get to piecing stage I can't live in the old M status quo and she'll need to change a lot also... At least now I know what I want.
Man, it is amazing how similar our journeys are. I feel EXACTLY the same way. I've also reflected on how empty my love tank has been for years and how I was willing to accept a substandard marriage because my W has been such a great mom to our kids. But looking back, I'm the one that's been complaining for years about how we're more like roommates raising kids together than H and W. Having read the 5LL I see now that there are things I could have done other than just complaining about it that might have changed the dynamics. But at this point W is so cashed out that I just don't know if she'd ever be willing to try, and if she doesn't try then it'll never work. Because like you said, she needs to change too. We're working on ourselves and making ourselves better, but in doing so we're not willing to go back into loveless marriages. Sometimes I think it would be easier to get into an R with a new woman then try and build a new R with W.
I guess I'm going to have to go back and check out those sweaters too! 
