I feel like I am better equipped to keep the love alive the next time around.
I think the one lesson I've learned from my sitch and from many threads here (especially in the MLC forum) is that it doesn't matter how perfect a spouse we are, we're always going to be at risk of losing our spouse. Whether WAS, MLC, hormones, perimenopause, depression or something else, spouses can just change practically overnight and abandon the R no matter how good we've been. These forums are full of wonderful people who aren't perfect but are pretty darned good but have still lost their spouses. Their spouses are walking out on relationships that others would kill for. Loyal, dedicated, hard-working, kind, loving people lose their spouses every day and are cited trivial, easily-fixed issues as the cause. And you never know if your spouse is one of "those"- a ticking time bomb just waiting to blow the marriage into a thousand pieces.
I hope that doesn't sound bitter, LOL! All I mean is you just can't ever take a R for granted because it could end tomorrow. I just don't want to go through this pain ever again, and I can't say for sure but suspect I've put some armor around myself as protection.
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And I question, if we don't put ourselves out there again, are we really living?
Oh yes, absolutely! I've had a lot of joy and fulfillment outside of M, I don't need a W to have that. I was 31 when I got married, so I spent a lot of adult time as a single guy before I "settled down". Those were some great years. I had some great married years too, but my happiness doesn't require a W.
