He's in Canada. "Short trips" - yes, all the time. That's where he goes to gamble. I told him months ago that I figured once the twins were out of HS we would prob move to Canada (this would be assuming his folks were still there...) When he lost his job I told him at least now he would have more time to visit his folks.

"Feels like he's going to die" H more or less wants to. Not as in actively suicidal but more like scanning the skies for meteorites - so as to run under them.

Quote:
The most comfortable aspect though may be that you love me unconditionally and that I am in control. If you were more confrontational I am not sure I would feel so comfortable.


"Unconditional love" IDK if this is me. The OW thing is a deal breaker for me. I don't want to hurt H, but I'm not up for getting hurt anymore either. And that control thing.... (see, I wasn't making that up! Somebody postulated that H thinks I am controlling.... lol...as if!) Here he says its what he appreciates, other times he tells me he wants me to be more "feisty" like wife X or Y or Z on X Y or Z sitcom. (Once in a moment of rebellion I did respond that well then he could be more like husband XYZ - for instance, see how he hugs her? "That isn't realistic" H says)

Validate the job thing. I do this, I have ALWAYS done this - even H would say this. I don't even discourage the gambling. (Although, to be honest, it doesn't thrill me - especially now because of the EA and trust issues.)

And no, I don't think he does want to leave right now. But I think he feels he can have OW in some capacity, and me too. And he's wrong there. Its just a matter of when/how I let him know that.

Me 46 H 56
M 22 yrs
S22, D20, Twin Ss18

You teach people how to treat you by what you allow.
What you stop.
And what you reinforce.
~~~~~~~
A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.