Some progress after 2+ months of DBing

[mamabird]

In my case, I didn't seek the OMs, they landed at my door. That's just my experience of it. Well, that's not entirely right - with OM1, I pursued a friendship and then surprised myself when I was open to it turning into something else. OM2 pursued me 100% and it was nice to have the attention. Seeking an OM would be much worse I think.

Love... who really knows what it means anyway - it changes over time. You have said you and your H are very close, and here you are fighting for your M, despite the fact that right now it's probably more bad than good. You know your H loves you even though he's a complete weirdo a good portion of the time. Most people say it's a choice, not a feeling. Clearly you are not feeling it right now but yet you do love him. So it has to be somewhat of a choice - to do loving behaviors, I guess.