She actually just came home a little bit ago. Overall, she said she liked her IC. That us HUGE! Main thing that she brought up were general childhood abuse discussion, her realization that her mom too thrives on chaos, that the IC thinks us being "neutral" right now is a good thing - don't do anything drastic. The only knee jerk response that I had to hold back on is that if were to D that I could subpoena her records (and vice versa). She has another soot next Monday, so that's that. A good thing so far. Good for her at least.
My anger is generally expressed with words, not hateful towards her or anyone. Just life itself and the triggers (minus the OM thing last night). Thank you though for the insight. I'm not going to say that is her, but at some point I may have to probe gently to see what her fear actually is, when the time is right.
As far as FB, if I get the urge to go there, I'm coming here first.
Time to out the oldest 2 to bed then a light workout. Strained a muscle the other night. Never thought is say that. Lol.
Thank you again for being here for me. I'll check in on you all later.
Hey LaBug, I saw you ask on MKB's thread...Campbell Cty. You anywhere nearby? 8)
As far as dealing with the anger as you suggested, that's actually what I was doing the other night, laying down by myself trying to let it go, but W came and sought me out. It was taking me quite some time to let it go.
I think I may have figured out a part of my errors recently. This morning I brought W a cup of coffee and the way she responded with "Thank you" reminded me of how she'd say it when she was with OM, full on in fog. It made me realize that I have been thinking she was out of the fog when she said she wanted to work on the R, when in reality, she's still there, perhaps not as foggy as before, but still there with which also explain her withdrawal lately.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Tori and Busting, thanks for the "keeper" compliment. It's truly good to hear! If W realizes and embraces it, wonderful. If not, someone else will (you 2 have). Kind of a nice reassurance for whatever my future holds. I need to remember my Perks quote and hold my standards higher (equality and happiness).
Today no contact throughout the work day. She's been more indifferent the past few days. Not trying to mindread too much, as it is rather pointless, and trying to let things be. Focused my energy on here and work. She's at zumba now so I bathed the youngest and am hanging with all of the kids.
Andrew, checking on you. Hope things went smoothly today. Her indifference might not have anything to do with you. Let her process her own feelings, and give yourself time to process your own...
LaBug, 52 the Beechmont side of OH coming from KY? I often use a GPS when crossing the bridge..LOL
Tori, Thanks for checking in. The other night, the house was messy, I asked her to help out some nice (nice way) as I was about to go workout. She said she didn't really care (in a nice way). I worked out, showered, and read for a little bit. Eventually I heard her cleaning, so I went and helped to illustrate that I wanted equality, not parenting her to clean up her mess.
Yesterday, I went about my day accepting the indifference, and not expecting much. Left work a little late, and on my way home she calls, "I haven't heard from you all day." Well, nor have I. So she chatted me up about her day and vice versa. At one point, she mentioned that BFF asked her to go shopping with her, but she declined. I asked if that was the reason for her calling, and she playfully said, "No. I dont' have to ask for permission. If I want to go I will." 8) Throughout this whole process, she has further put me in the parental role, by asking if she can do this or that (eg Zumba), and my normal response is that you don't have to ask, but I appreciate you letting me know.
The night ended well.
This morning before we really woke up, she at one point told me to come closer to get her warm (snuggling), "that's my job." I confirmed that's what she said later on. 8) Also, she asked me if we wanted to have dinner out tonight with the kiddos before a Scout event. So that sounds good (for now). 8)
There's some personal insights / questions I want to post up here, but need to get to work. I'll hope to do so in a few hours (lunch break).
Hope all are doing well.... btw, did you ever receive / start the Miracle book Tori?
