Ha! Itchy butt Theorem. That's pretty good. Unfortunately this is a pattern with my husband and have I noticed it after we have been intimate. So again I am pulling back, being pleasant and I am going to be scarce the rest of the week. Sometimes it feels like a fine line I walk trying to nuance this. I don't want to be like I was which was angry and sad at the hurts he threw at me, but I don't want to be clingy and needy either.
Well my happiness was short lived. When H got home I was in a good mood and gave him a little hug and kiss. Then I was standing in front of the frig and he wanted to get in there and he said "you're in the way" I said "what do you say" He said "Move" I said "how about some manners" He gave me an angry look and stalked out of the room. I was cleaning up in the kitchen and he came back in got what he wanted out of the fridge and then wanted something else where I was and again said "move" i again said "how about some manners?" He just said "move" again and I yelled "no!" I told my h he was acting like an ass and he can be polite to strangers and coworkers but not me . He said "if you want to play games go ahead" I called him a jackass. The kids were all there and they think he is wrong too. Now I am staying in another room away from him.
Rachael, I'm glad you called him on his pissy manners. He needs to learn to respect you and you took the first step by calling him out. That was down right rude.
Stay positive!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
You know it just doesn't seem to matter. He didn't shout so he will think he has the higher ground. I am really tired of this crap. I went to bed early and didn't say a word to him after I called him an ass about 3 times. My oldest son was over and standing right next to me when it happened. He left after that and texted me asking what my husbands deal was. He talked to my daughter too wanting to know what's wrong with H. Although this is nothing new it is definitely more frequent. You can bet I won't get an apology but he probably would want one from me for calling him an ass.
Rachael, You did the right thing. No, I seriously doubt that you'll get an apology. It's best to let it go for now. Whatever you do, don't apologize for calling him on it. I would try to reframe from calling him an ass from now on. The best way to deal w/people who are like this is in a calm, even tone. Don't lower yourself to his level by calling him names. That just makes it more "enjoyable" for him because he knew he got you to react.
Try to have a good day.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks Snodderly The one thing prayer is doing is starting to change me inside. I will have a good day and I will let it go. He took my car keys by accident today but instead of blowing up like he would I just stated that I needed them and he apologized for that but he works 45 min away so I told him if D is able she can take me somewhere if I need.
I'm back after a month of more baloney. Now my H is numb again, no affection at all, does not want to ML and I believe he is contacting ow again because he is running downstairs and I saw him texting though he didn't know it and he may have another phone because he runs downstairs and I saw him with a phone charger. He denies he is contacting her but he is acting like he did in Sept. when I caught him skyping. So I got a job where I will be out amongst people and I'm not as depressed.
H has a real problem with my adult son. He does not live with us but during the holidays he was over quite a bit and my h is annoyed with him because he is immature and because he lets his sisters drive places when he should step up. My h is mad at me because it happened at christmas and son was going to let his sisters drive to a not so hot neighborhood where we were all going to church and we needed two cars. I said something to son about it and he drove, but h was infuriated for days. H said he can't separate my son from me, why? because I'm his mom he says. Also says he doesn't dislike my son but that he is annoyed by him.
We went to mc and my h was asked what I could do to help H with Numb feelings. H said he didn't know and and the problem was his. I told him that I am getting this lukewarm crap from H and I felt it was cruel and I feel rejected. H says he doesn't understand that. H was never a real affectionate guy to me except in the beginning but he says I wasn't. I used to ask h to kiss me and greet me coming home or going out but that didn't last long. I finally gave up. I think he may have finally checked out of this marriage especially if he is talking to ow. I told him if he is talking to her I am done. H is going to california to visit his cousin to get away and think. Maybe he is planning on leaving me and is hesitant cuz it will make him look bad or it's about assets. I'm getting to the point where I don't care as much.
