He's Just Not That Into You - The Sequel

[Wendylon]

Regretful, I feel so much like you do except that an OM never presented himself in my life. I'm not sure how long I could resist one if he did.

I could have written this bit. It could be straight out of my M, including the fact that some of the examples your H gave weren't accurate:

I asked him for an example and tried to come up with a few that weren't really accurate. The one thing he did come up with was a time when he was making risotto and stirring it with a teaspoon. Me telling him he should use a wooden spoon was invading his autonomy. Maybe I said it in a nasty tone but it was a while ago so who knows.

This is also straight from my H's script:

He said that he's always felt inadequate in the R. That we did talk about a little bit. He said he always felt that he never did anything to my satisfaction.

Like you, I do admit that I have nagging/critical/controlling tendencies. Just today I heard H struggling with putting the grill back into our sandwich maker. I resisted helping because I knew he'd take it badly.

This too:

He also said (based on his own IC) that he has an image of me as a "perfect" person and who can measure up to that. These feelings of inadequacy are largely self-imposed.

Yes, all true of us too. My goal at the moment is not to rely on H for emotional connection. Asking for it from him gets me nowhere so we'll see how this goes for a bit. I'll let you know.

I'll keep watching your sitch carefully and send you strength.