So last night decide to try to make dinner and it ended up being a disaster. My wife comes home from work and I says "What's up, buttercup?" It's something I always used to say to her an it just kinda slipped out. I was trying so hard. she looked confused, then hurt. I thought to apologize for saying that then I decided that I didn't really have anything to apologize for. It was a slip of the tongue. I just said, "I didn't mean to misspeak I know our relationship is is not at that level anymore. It won't happen again." Then I added stupidly, "until things are better." She just looked at me and said "Really? I'm not doing this." I sooooooo wanted to asks her what she meant by that, but I resisted. I claimed I had forgotten something in the car and went out side. I wanted to compose myself and not react.
after dinner, I noticed that she wasn't wearing her ring. I thought about getting the kids to ask in a round about way, but decided that was mighty stupid. so I excused myself. I looked all over the house, until I found the ring in the shelf in the shower. It looks like she just doesn't want to wear it anymore. I'm not cool with it, but I can't change it. I was forced to go into my car a gain to compose myself. I hate having to do that.
I played with the kids some and made my son do his homework. She got kinda mad at me but never said anything because I was a little strict with him. He wanted to watch tv and i had to keep reminding him to be on task. I wasn't mean to him or anything. sheeeese.
So then I'm getting ready for bed and I remember I needed something in our old room. I go up to the room and knock on the door. i don't hear anything so I open the door and when I come in she stops texting and slams down the phone. what was she doing????!!!
Then I decide to ask if I can give her a foot rub because she looked really tired and beat. She said yes, then it led to us being intimate. I've had a number of girlfriends and it felt like goodbye sex. I told her how much I missed us and how beautiful she was and she wasnt emotionally invested. I don't know why I did it other than it had been a couple of weeks. I don't know why she initiated or why I caved in. I wish I was stronger than that. But I am a guy after all. does this happen with a spouse who wants to separate? I think DB says it's up to the couple if they want to do it.
After,it was over I said, "I guess I'll be headed to my room." kinda hinting that I wanted to say in OUR bed. she just said. "Okay."
