You need a counselor to help you figure out WHY you allow yourself to think this way and to be treated this way. You need to go back to court and get more from him. Not crumbs - MONEY. I don't think he is capable of giving you the love that you need and deserve. He is broken. And has broken you.
Take the rings. Sell them to pay for a lawyer to get what you need financially from him. And take the rest to invest in a good counsellor. Because you are NOT living. You are existing (your words). And what does that do for your son?
I'm at a loss to know what to do. Usually everyone on this bb wants a better life for themselves and figures out how to find it. I knew how to advise you when you told us YOU wanted a better life (after the wedding) but because you didn't act on it when you were on a roll - you've allowed things to slip back to where they were before.
You are way too young to continue losing all your adult years in this limbo. The day I let go of my husband and the limbo and craziness I also lived it - I started to live again. And if I can do it - you can too.
PLEASE get some help for yourself. Even if it is just rereading Divorce Remedy. If you want something better - you will have to institute the change.
