Something I've learned this week - everything seems to come in waves, especially detachment. I thought that once I'd gotten detached I would stay in that state but I definitely feel like I relapse into a state of being impacted by things she says or does (W cancelled our last get together due to a headache and didn't prompt me to meet for our usual meeting yesterday - I wasn't wrecked like I'd been previously but it definitely got to me). It can even happen multiple times over the course of a day - I feel detached and GAL one moment and then a few hours later some little thing like seeing a happy family with a christmas tree atop their car sends me into unhappy mode again.
Are there tools to help when you get a wave of nostalgia like that? I'm starting to feel a little bitterness creep in and that almost feels good. It is easier to feel mildly ticked off than to feel emotionally devastated.
She asked to visit tonight. No idea what her motivations are at this point. I've been having a bad feeling intuitively about this meeting but trying to ignore it. And she hasn't quit with the offerings (for tonight she emails - "hey, i'll bring this beer i think you will like"). Maybe I still haven't gotten all the way off of the rollercoaster since I feel worn out just thinking about her coming here.
I'm 10 weeks into this now. I know that is newbie territory for most people on this forum but it feels like an eternity to me. I'm really starting to miss having things like affection and companionship in my life. I'm resolved to not start dating because it wouldn't be fair to anyone involved but the temptation to fill that void is certainly there. It almost surprises me that there isn't a paid cuddling service. ____________________________ Me:39 WAW:38, M:9 T:19, No Kids EA:9/24, S:9/24 EA on hold?, MC 9/30-now
