It's super confusing at times which is why we say "believe none of what they say, have of what they do".
That's a good reminder. She will doubtly pour out her heart or show her true emotions at a time like this. Curiousity can get the best of us..
Originally Posted By: Valeska19
If you are happy spending all this extra time with your son, then keep that in the foreground of your mind at all times. Continue to make yourself believe that the toll of "playing family" is a price that you, as his father, would pay 1000 times over.
Yes, I see my son a lot, but I'm still happy for every extra time I get with him. This exact situation is what I always wanted to avoid for my child.
It's still bittersweet knowing that if she finds another partner this extra time might vanish completely.
Originally Posted By: Valeska19
What would moving on mean to you? Spending less time with your son? If you dropped the rope, what does that mean?
From the top of my head, I've got no idea right now lol
I would not want to spend less time with S and I do want us to have a civil tone and be able to do what is right for S. But I guess the beginning goals of moving on would be:
-stop gauging her reactions to my actions -stop mind reading -give both of us total space, while still focusing on S.
and yeah, shouldn't I be doing this already?
-accepting there will be no reconciliation. In a sense giving up hope, which will be hard even though I'm not sure what I want myself.
Originally Posted By: Valeska19
Continue to let go of the anger. Us LBSers love to vilify our WASes. If it becomes something consistent, address it with her then in a calm and collective way.
Yes, my thoughts exactly. That is the reason I let it go. I should give her the benefit of doubt. If it becomes consistent I can adress it then.
In the R I struggled a bit with the two different sides of me. I love being a family man, but I also need adventure, adrenaline and physical challenges. My X is not that kind of person and would always worry about me getting hurt, especially after S was born.
What really kills me about the whole situation is that I was really enjoying family life and starting to settle in, and now it's gone.
Together for 8,5 years. S2 Interest in OM. She left 29.09.12 b/c we couldn't work things out. No signs of OM, not digging. Living in seperate homes, sharing custody.
