I'm a planner -it's very hard for me not to think of timelines lol
Today I'm just feeling like I contradict myself a lot, mostly because during our conversations yesterday I invited him to dinner. He accepted and seems excited, also made plans to go get a Christmas tree Satruday. So while I try to make myself really detach, I still feel we need these times of togetherness. I have seen where others have had success still incorporating these types of things, so hopeing it isn't harming the good I've been doing. Suppose the biggest worry along these lines is that I don't want him to think he can just string me along forever, like you mentioned AS.
Yesterday he picked up something for me from a store he delivers to and asked about bringing it over in the evening. Told him we wouldn't be home until after 7:30. He nicely asked what we were doing so I told him, just a library thing with little one but then he wrote this long message about how I get to do all of the fun stuff, he isn't getting respected as a daddy and only gets what's offered to him. Now normally this would have caused me to explode!! I kept my cool and explained again that he is welcome to make plans with her at anytime but we weren't going to sit around waiting for him to visit. And I nicely brought up that last week was his choice and he agreed (he had something every night last week and all day Sunday, spent most of Saturday with her) Anyway, he finally said he was glad we could dicuss civilly, that it was nice after the last year of mostly fighting, and then said 'look at us, mostly acting like adults' Guess I feel like things are moving forward. Think it will take him awhile longer to see if these changes I have made are going to stick. (yes, they are!!)
Suppose that was a little journaling - and I guess the question/topic for the day is - does it hinder the effects when you ask them to come to dinner etc? It seems he kind of makes excuses to come by anyway, doesn't hurt to actually invite sometimes, right? Oh, again in the land of confusion.....
