Trying really hard to be Thankful today...

[subguy]

SB, do you really feel that way or are you hurt and want a little hurt to show with your H?

I understand how you feel about wanting the WAS to struggle. I am not a mean person and I refuse to allow my W and this situation to change me in a negative way. I really want her to be happy with or with out me (preferably with me). I do get frustrated and sometimes say to myself I wish... would happen to her. Yet I do not really mean those thoughts, it is out of hurt that my mind races.

I agree with accuracy, working a full and part time job is not party time. However it is a path he chose so let him walk it and try not to get sucked into his pitty party. I would rather work thru my issues and still have a life which included seeing my children, instead of working all the time. I would actually see his part time job and shake my head and say: to bad you left your family, good luck working 60+ hours a week.

right now if a mouse squeals its a negative thing for you. Your under a huge amount of stress. Try to relax, take a bath with the good smelly stuff and allow yourself to calm down. I had a beer on the beach with a cute waitress serving me (I did not hit on her) and let myself unwind a bit, it was nice. I have been reading self help books and now have stopped for a bit. I am reading for pleasure. My daughter has been after me to read The Hunger Games and I am half way through the first book, again my brain relaxes a little each time. It's hard but just try to calm down and stop analyzing every creak and groan that comes your way.