TY. Went to visit S tonight. It was good to see him. H was fine. Fidgety but fine. He was good for S I think. Although, S talked more with me. I just think that I had more to say as I have been the one going between the attorneys and S friends and stuff. S also seemed to just be glad to see us and really talked about what he had been doing. Basically it involves some intensive counseling and group sessions as well as time alone which he has spent drawing. He really did seem better. I think just having hope made it better for him.
Otherwise things were okay. We even had a laugh. Again, I was struck by how much H seemed to be a stranger. Nothing more to report. I keep GAL ing. We had a really really wonderful day today. I spent the day with step mother and brother. Let the D's stay home from school we had a great day at the lodge then toured through the park and acted touristy- lol Then of course I got to see S. After that we went and hung out with my school friends at McD. D's got to play with their kids in playland and we all had ice cream and just laughed and hung out. Then after that several of us went to dinner. When I got home we had a surprise package. Opened it up and it was a nice Christmas basket with candies, gingerbread men, chocolate, and fruits. No name attached and no one has claimed it. Basically it said Melissa and kids- Merry Christmas and Happy New Year- Santa Claus
So that was very cool and an awesome way to end the day. I'm tired but feel pretty good actually. Hate that S is gone. He seems to be coping okay though and frankly at least I know he is safe. So my stress about him isn't as great as I would have thought. Of course my primary worry as far as him is just how he is feeling and of course that is not something I can control (that was for Bug) I know you were thinking to yourself that is out of my control so I am acknowledging that. :-) There was a little mind reading to go with- lol
Anyway, tomorrow is a full day with several meetings at school. Then dinner with one of my good friends. Those meetings could be interesting but I am surprisingly stress free. My life and future are so much in flux I don't know what to think and I dare NOT make any plans. Weird that I am okay with that.
As far as H- I felt pretty good tonight. No desire to ask questions no desire to know more. Really I did watch for signs of drugs. To be honest he fidgeted the entire time. I did finally ask WHY he was fidgeting. He said he was just nervous. I have decided to not pursue it further. I figure if it IS drugs it will be apparent enough soon so no real reason to do so. It would only result in an argument and more animosity. Aside from the kids safety and well being when with him I really don't much care.
What he does is his business and all I am doing is taking steps to protect myself from any additional drama.
So that was how it went. Hope you guys are well. Thanks for continuing to check on me. It helps to come here where I can really put all my thoughts out there. Real life it is not so easy. People tend to be too judgmental about situation to really be open to listening to anything else. Therefore, I am generally not inclined to share much.
