Trying really hard to be Thankful today...

[Sweetbriar]

Im so sad tonight...I found out through D14 that H got a part time job he has been trying to get. You see, after the court date, he has been broke...and he was trying to get a part time job with another govt contractor, but had to get it Okayed by his full time job (which is also govt) so it wouldnt be conflict of interest. There was a slim chance he would get it...but tonight he told D he got the job!

Now, he will have lots of more money and life will be easier for him. I just dont know why everything seems to fall in place for him...after all the He** he is and has caused:(

Why cant the life of the WAS fall apart?

I try to so hard to detach, but then I hear these things and it sets me back. I also wonder, why did he even need to tell D that tonight through text? Did he want her to tell me? UGGGG...

4 months ago, when H moved out, I thought for sure that by the holidays, we would be talking and maybe reconciling...and now, we dont even talk..at all! We are like total strangers...I mean, he hasnt even made ONE SINGLE baby step toward me ...nothing. No small talk, nothing...unless he needs something (like his important papers...then he has no problem emailing me for them...)

I wonder a lot of days if Im wasting my time...as much as I want this to happen for us...I just dont see him ever changing his mind:(

To me, getting a 2nd job is just running further away from me and our family...he seems to be doing anything and everything to keep himself afloat and wont even dream of just working on our marriage...he is way, way gone....

Ad, I would love to meet up and shop or maybe just get coffee? I dont have tons of money right now...due to my situation:(