KLB, I think people use dating as a "coping" mechanism. Whether that's dealing with the loneliness, wanting to feel loved, or wanting to give love....
.. but many jump in before that have grown to become better people for their next R... or before they have healed.
The timeline is different for everyone....
.. but if you are asking, you probably aren't ready.
I don't think healing from these comes in a vacuum or isolation. Dating and being around ones of the opposite sex who do appreciate your time will re-inject some of your proper image into you.
DLS- I don't believe I said to isolate yourself. I agree that PEOPLE (regardless of gender) can assist with boosting your ego and helping an LBS regain their self worth.
And you're absolutely right. You can't heal on your own.
But if an LBS jumps into dating too soon, it's just filling a hole.. and if something happens between them.. the LBSer is right back to feeling rejected and again looking for validation from someone else.
People's positive opinion of us is the first step in the right direction but the work is on us. It should be US validating OURSELVES. Opinions change based on a bazillion things.. but if we believe that we are worth it..NO MATTER WHAT.... we won't need to search for it elsewhere.
That's just my .02
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
