Well the irony is that it's usually when the LBS totally gives up on the R that the WAS finally decides to consider returning.
You make a good point. Although it might not bring them back it will force them to think over what they really want. I don't mean to wait indefinitely, but I do struggle with knowing if my wish to drop the rope is real. Always when I get to that state of mind something happens which throws me off balance again.
Today was one of those days actually, I will update my thread on it, you're welcome to stop by.
I guess I'm just afraid that if I drop the rope I will regret it.
I mean how do you really know when the time is right? M Maybe it never feels quite right and you just have to go for it at some point?
I believe the only time to drop the rope is when you truly are ready to give up and prepared to move on, because like you say, you may regret it.
If you're only doing it as a tactic to win her back, she'll likely see right through it. Especially if you "flipped the switch" from standing to dropping the rope. It could be seen as a tit for tat game, ("If you won't love me, I''ll show you!) I don't believe games and tactics are a good way to build a lasting relationship.
Deciding when to give up should be a gradual process, and in most cases your spouse should first start seeing signs that while you're waiting for them, you don't intend to wait forever.
Truly dropping the rope seems like a last ditch maneuverer to me, and one that you can't take back without losing credibility if it doesn't cause the walk away spouse to reconsider.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
