Stop snooping. It doesn't help you. It just makes for the crazy what if's.
Putting your focus on the who, what, where's of what he's doing will make you spin too. As hard as it is to do, let it go. I'm not advocating letting him walk all over you, but why go looking to put yourself right under the boot?
I know you want to "fix" things and you may be thinking that putting it all on the table continually will help him hear you and feel the pain he's caused. It won't. It comes off as nagging and then he hears nothing. The man is not stupid. He knows how much you hurt. He's also hurting.
Everything does not have to be spoken. What can you show him? What do you want him to see?
Also, what is your interpretation if he is MLC vs something else? Does it give you more hope less, what does that mean for you?
