She is taking notice of your changes, and that is goodness. It's going to take patience and consistent change for her to trust in them, but the fact that she sees it is the beginning. Keep going!
I am with you on the cards, but sometimes we have to set aside what we think and try to see it from the other person's perspective. Your W probably gets people cards to let them know she's thinking of them, so when you get her one, that's probably the message it sends. It doesn't have to a $6 card...it can just be a $1 with some nice words in it to show that she's on your mind. Of course, sympathy card aside, at this point it'd be pursuit and pressure, so I'd steer clear for now unless there's good reason.
I used to do the same kind of thing on so many things. Looking back, I realize how selfish it was. I only thought about how I felt about it, now how my W did. She's the most important person in the world to me, yet I discarded her feelings on some things without the tiniest bit of consideration. Pretty crappy H material for a lot of years.
