Third, I think there's a good chance I'm not here to save my marriage. I am of the understanding that as long as that is only a "thought", as long as there is the "shadow of a doubt" about that decision, that I should not "ring the bell", or act decisively.
Save yourself first. When you first get here you are told to put on your oxygen mask and breathe. Once you are in a good place, then making life changing decisions are much easier.
