My Fears in GALing

[newman7977]

Hey DM,

Good to hear from you. I read your post you sound well. I'm glad you are detaching well. I'm having a hard time in that dept.

I think not detaching well is the reason my mind is spinning again about my sitch.

I'm still flip flopping re cutting the rope, I want to really think about it and make a decision to be really sure and ready. I'm looking at all angles including consulting a lawyer. I also don't want to give my W an ammo against me if I push for separation.

I don't know I'm just confuse and frustrated on the sitch. Yep its really the holidays hitting hard. It's hard to keep a PMA knowing the family is broken and faking it like nothing is going on with W's family, except SIL, she knows the deal. But you know I'm trying very hard so my kids will not get affected.

I'm also tired of the one way M. It's always me initiating contact and communication. Like today I got home and I purposely didn't talk to W to see what happens. Sure enough after two hours she still haven't said a word. I had to ask her a question so I had to talk. She's just cold.

I will try to detach. I really have to engrave detachment in my head. I believe this will help me cope if I can detach lovingly while living in the same home.

Despite of all the negativity this past weekend I was able to get the Christmas Tree and ornaments. Even took s3 photo shoot with Santa at the mall.

Take care of yourself and those kids DM keep us posted in your sitch.

Newman