The house is for sale. So sad, Family is breaking.

[FloydMan]

Thanks Sandi2. I sense the warmth in you that you have for him. That is a nice story, I am very happy it worked out.
My wife is definitely focussed on D and nothing else. She wants nothing to do with reconciliation and it is getting very legal and contentious. Financials will soon be settled by Jan but I think it will go to court over the kids. There is so much anger in her. I know and understand a lot of it pre-dates me and goes to her inner self and past as it comes out from time to time and the therapist that worked with us first said so too. We had done sessions as a couple and individually with that therapist. She refuses to acknowledge the past and how it affects the dynamic, but it creeps in when she rants. It took me a few months to grasp it last year, but I did. Just hadn’t mastered how to control it but am getting better at it. She firmly does not want to work as a couple. When she was begging for the M 7 months ago she was telling me and crying to me to give it 2 years as that is how long it took her sister (who also had an A) to fix their marriage. I bought into her 2 year plan, and agreed with her cries of “separation and divorce is stupid!” She gave up less than 2 months later (8 months in total since A was revealed). She feels going through a D and the process is better than the heartache. I don’t think she realizes as I learned from others that a D never really goes away. It will be years at least.
Everyone from family and our close mutual friends keep telling me I am a good man, and don’t deserve this and they don’t even know of the A.
It is so strange. The house is for sale and I don’t think it will be long before it sells. It is just a house, but my children know it as home. If it meant to sell it to get out of debt but stay together, I would be all for it.