The green green grass of home. (Part 2 )

[Soul.Searching]

Thanks bug. My main concern is the kids have six weeks of school holidays starting in a couple of weeks. H wants a week on a week off. first he wanted three weeks straight but I said no, so it's a week on a week off.
It's good for them but not for me. Guess I need to find my big girl pants, huh.

I wrote this on another thread about what you did to contribute to the marrage break down, I thought I'd copy it over here, too.


I'm actually surprised how big my list turned out to be. This is the first time I have let go of the reasons why I did what I did and not tried to justify them to myself.


My inability to control my emotions.
My tone of voice and defensiveness.
Loosing hope of trying to fix key issues through communication and ultimately trying to control H instead. How stupid could I have been? Carrying on over someone not spending time with you, will only make them want to spend even less time with you.
Going down cheese less tunnels.
Too many expectations.
Not communicating properly. Eg attacking statements, saying H made me feel a certain way.
Not showing enough gratitude to H, Even if I didn't feel I was getting it either.
Relying on H for my own happiness.
Negative comments.
Not seeing the signs or choosing to talk myself out of them being signs.
Putting my own needs, wants and desires last.
Letting H control me.

Well, that's a pretty big list. I guess I was way more responsible than I thought, even if I did think that I was doing it for the right reasons at the time.