What we each did wrong that hurt our marriage

[Soul.Searching]

I have not read the whole thread yet but here are mine. I'm actually surprised how big my list turned out to be. This is the first time I have let go of the reasons why I did what I did and not tried to justify them to myself.


My inability to control my emotions.
My tone of voice and defensiveness.
Loosing hope of trying to fix key issues through communication and ultimately trying to control H instead. How stupid could I have been? Carrying on over someone not spending time with you, will only make them want to spend even less time with you.
Going down cheese less tunnels.
Too many expectations.
Not communicating properly. Eg attacking statements, saying H made me feel a certain way.
Not showing enough gratitude to H, Even if I didn't feel I was getting it either.
Relying on H for my own happiness.
Negative comments.
Not seeing the signs or choosing to talk myself out of them being signs.
Putting my own needs, wants and desires last.
Letting H control me.

Well, that's a pretty big list. The biggest by far that I have read. I've only read a few pages though. I guess I was way more responsible than I thought, even if I did that I was doing it for the right reasons at the time.