I should stop repeating this and you can just take it as read but once again, I relate so much!!
I know exactly what you mean about not being able to handle it at some point and having a freak out and it possibly being a hormonal thing. I've done exactly the same thing.
I assume that you do know though that you were pursuing in the conversation/discussion. Ideally, you wouldn't ask him any of those questions and thereby have to listen to answers you don't like (and that he gets to hear himself say as well). If it's any consolation, I've made the same mistake many times.
Like you, I often wonder whether our M as it stands is better or worse than a D. All I can say, is that at some point, something will tip the balance--either something to do with him or with me. Until then, I'll keep on DBing as it's the best thing I know. The down side of any other R is that the guy won't be the father of your kids.
Good luck setting up a DB session.
Me: 51 H: 52 T: 23 yrs M: 19 yrs S18, D16, S14 (special needs) PA: 2003/2004 Piecing: 2004 on Suspect H had EA: 8/2012-12/2012
