Hello! 20 year marriage teetering... (part II)

[complicated]

AS and the UF it does take a lot of patience and I have none. The books and everyone on here has taught me you have to be patient or you hurt your sitch. My marital issues started well over 3 years ago but H didn't file until last year. I had high hopes when he stopped D but they soon faded when he moved out.

I always had the mindset that I would fight for my entire family but we kept having the same arguments. I did not know tht he was ready to start "dating" but I found that out last week. I read the DB and DR books and had renewed hope when I realized I was doing everything wrong.

Thank God I didn't know he was thinking about dating because I don't know how I would have reacted. My H was big on you'll never change but the 180's really helped. The kids telling him that things seemed better certainly didn't hurt.

Keep it up you guys. My situation seemed hopeless just 6 weeks ago and now we're talking about him moving back in. It hasn't happened yet and I'm being cautious but there is light. If I would have given up I'm convinced we would be D right now.

One thing that really kept me going were the kids and what D does to them. The way he treated me sometimes was really hard to keep going. I didn't want the kids to think you give up that easily on things, especially someone you love.