Oh My AJ, I can't tell you what a relief that is to hear.
Perhaps Im finally circling the drain of grieving. It just feels like it's going to last forever. 2 steps forward, 3 steps back.
Im struggling with feeling free from him. I still feel haunted by him and I don't know how to get rid of that. It's because Im aware he is watching me closely and still trying to play games, when Im really feeling ready to let go and jump off that cliff into the unknown, of a brand new life.
I guess it will just take a little more time for me to not notice these things. But when he's throwing fits when Im trying to talk to him like an adult, shunning his own children, sitting in my driveway for half an hour and now wanting return receits on texts messages, the message I firmly get is " Im still here and not leaving!!! You are still MINE!"
The only way I know how to free myself from being suffocated is to walk away break all ties. I sometimes really wonder if moving away so he's not so accessible to me and the girls would help. It finally dawned on me that if he were to move out of town I would feel so relieved.
So who's all on the Alt here? Do you get through it be going to the DB on facebook?
