I don't get why my wife gets to make all sorts of insults, but I can't defend myself?
Didn't you just say you read DR? Or were you talking about some other book? Because if you read DR then you know the answer to this.
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I mean she has been mean to me at times and I admit I have been mean back.
Since you read DR, what did you take away from the "It Takes One To Tango" section?
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We did have a lot of good times too.
Doesn't matter. Your W doesn't remember them, she just remembers the bad. WAS's revise the marital history.
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I'm cutting back on the selfish attitude.
Don't cut back. Eliminate.
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I want to pick up my work around the house and with the kids, but I know she takes a lot of pride in this. If I step on toes or mess up, she'll just get mad.
Mind-reading. Why don't you try it instead of just assuming she'll get mad because you actually try to help her.
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Should I ask her to teach me how to do the laundry or how to mop the floors the way she likes it?
Yes on the laundry, you don't want to screw that up. But mopping the floors, why don't you just do it without asking? Kind of hard to mess that up. Try vacuuming too. And picking up after the kids. And feeding the kids. And doing the dishes. And taking out the trash. And don't expect brownie points for it, just do it.
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Or do I back off. I'm confused.
I don't think you understand what detachment is, you might want to brush up on that in DR. It doesn't mean abandoning your W to do everything herself. Sounds like that's what you've been doing in the marriage anyway, so she'll just see that as "more of the same" behavior from you.
