First of all my IC is professional so why wouldn't I trust his advice.
If a doctor tells you that you need a heart transplant do you do research online and seek out a second opinion or do you just accept his comment because he's a "professional"?
Also, do you know and understand that the vast majority of marriage counselors are not marriage-friendly? They do not push for marriage, they push for separation and divorce because that is what they're trained to do.
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I am not being flippant about the advice, but I need to proceed with extreme caution here because I've given all effort to other programs and nothing changed.
I get the impression that you haven't been at this long, so when you say you've tried other things and nothing has changed I'm very skeptical you've given anything time to work. There are no quick fixes in this, if that's what you're expecting then you're setting yourself up for disappointment. It takes time, lots and lots of time, for marital issues to be resolved. It takes patience. And it takes work.
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I have now read the book
Good, so now it's time for you to start your work. Understand that reading the book is the first step in a journey of a thousand miles. Now take the second step. List out the problems you've caused by your behavior and what you propose to do about them (your 180's). Then list the baby steps you expect to see that will let you know progress is being made. And I'll warn you right now, "have sex tonight" is not a baby step. "Wife initiates text convo" is more along the lines of a baby step.
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You simply do not understand the current dymanic between my wife and I.
You'd be very surprised how much we understand it. It's quite likely we understand it better than you do. We may not know you or your wife, but we know the WAS syndrome inside out and upside down. Most people come here thinking they've got a unique sitch, then they type out the same old story. Some of the details may be different, but the thread is the same as many others.
